it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry
John Mulaney voice: It was even weirder, though, when I went out for the night with some money, black out, and wake up with more money, because that means that I earned money. That means that I traded goods and/or services. Which is scary.
Why is Marvel like this?
Anthony Mackie:
Brie Larson:
So I’m not the only person who finds this really creepy right?
No, no you are not
…so it was that bad
Well, that sure explains a lot!
Back in the old days, Kenneth Branagh actually involved Tom in the process of creating Loki. He asked Tom for all the aspects that he’d wish to explore. Tom kept a scrapbook where he wrote down all his ideas. The actors of Thor met to discuss the dynamics between the characters. That’s when Tom and Rene Russo came up with the backstory of Frigga being the one who taught Loki magic, and decided that they would share a tic. After filming Thor, Tom met Joss Whedon and they spent a whole afternoon discussing Loki, and what happened to him after his suicide attempt.
And now, actors have no idea what’s going on when they’re filming and reciting their lines. It’s no wonder the films feel so soulless. It looks like Marvel completely missed the fact that Loki became so popular because the guy who played him always knew what the character was feeling and how he would be moving.
Friendly reminder that Joss Whedon sent Tom Hiddleston the entire Avengers script and Tom read the entire thing and loved it so much that he sent a gushing email back to Joss, thanking him for writing Loki as such an emotionally complex, layered character.
Just compare that level of artistic integrity and caring about the characters and the plot to the most recent shit show of the actors not even knowing what fucking movie they’re filming.
Funny thing - if your actor doesn’t know what movie they’re filming or the role they have in the plot, then their agent can’t properly negotiate for the pay they deserve for their work.
hi
